Circle - Be Held, Hold Others

INTRODUCTION

Circle refers to the healing power of community. It’s about

being seen, supported, and held by others who understand

and witness you on your healing journey. As human

beings, we are wired for connection, and the quality of our

relationships profoundly impacts our emotional and physical well-

being.

Isolation is one of the greatest challenges during times of pain. It

reinforces the illusion that we are alone in our suffering and can

fuel feelings of shame and unworthiness. Community counters

that isolation. It reminds us we are not alone, that our experiences

matter, and that we are deserving of love and support.

Being witnessed—genuinely seen and heard—can be as healing as

any inner work. The energy of a compassionate group amplifies

that healing.

HOW THIS LIFELINE SUPPORTS HEALING

• Connection breaks the isolation that often accompanies trauma

• Being witnessed provides validation, encouragement, andemotional regulation

• Shared experience fosters empathy and reminds us we are not

alone

WHERE BELONGING BEGINS

Before the drugging, I felt grounded within my large, extended

family. While the dynamics weren’t always easy, those

relationships offered a sense of safety and belonging. Even before

everything unraveled, subtle shifts began—certain connections

became strained or distant. The warmth I once depended on

quietly faded, and that alone carried its own grief.

When everything collapsed, I reached for familiar support

systems—family, friends, institutions—but they felt out of reach.

The isolation was devastating. Yet in that silence, something else

began to form. Without the usual scaffolding, I turned inward—

and discovered a steadiness I hadn’t known before.

Then, something surprising happened: new connections emerged.

In unexpected places, I found spaces where healing was the shared

intention, and vulnerability was welcomed. These were not just

friendships—they were lifelines. People showed up with presence,

not pity. They listened with openness, not judgment. They

reminded me that I didn’t have to heal alone.

The people we surround ourselves with influence our healing in

profound ways. Our closest relationships can either reinforce our

pain or reflect our potential. That’s why it’s important to be

intentional about the company we keep—not just kind people, but

those whose lives inspire us to grow.

As I healed, my circle shifted. Some people remained—steadfast

and loving through the storm. Others drifted away, and though

their absence stung, it also brought clarity. I began to see who was

truly aligned with the woman I was becoming.

Today, my relationships are grounded in authenticity and mutual

respect. The refining of my inner circle became part of the healing

itself. True community isn’t about numbers—it’s about depth.

When you are seen in your wholeness, held in your truth, and

loved without condition, healing doesn’t just accelerate—it

deepens.

THE SCIENCE OF CONNECTION

Connection isn’t just an emotional experience—it’s a biological

one. Human beings are wired for relationship, and meaningful

connection has a measurable impact on health and well-being.

When we feel safe and supported, our bodies release oxytocin,

often called the “bonding hormone” or “love hormone.” As Dr.

Sue Carter explains, oxytocin strengthens emotional bonds,

reduces anxiety, and helps regulate the nervous system. It’s one

reason we feel calmer in the presence of someone we trust.

On the flip side, isolation activates our stress response. Chronic

loneliness is linked to elevated cortisol levels, which contribute to

inflammation, sleep disturbances, and reduced immune function

(Heinrichs et al., 2003).

In contrast, people with strong social ties tend to recover more

quickly from illness, manage stress more effectively, and

experience greater resilience. As Dr. Dan Siegel writes:

“Connection creates integration. Integration creates resilience.”

Being seen and known by others provides psychological oxygen. It

validates our inner world and co-regulates our nervous system—

meaning, being near someone calm and empathetic can help bring

us back into balance. In trauma healing spaces, this is known as co-

regulation: the soothing of one nervous system through safe

connection with another. Community helps us heal not just

emotionally, but physiologically.

Belonging also strengthens identity and meaning. In a

compassionate circle, we internalize: I matter. I’m not alone. I am

enough. Rebuilding my own support circle didn’t just restore

emotional stability—it gave me a renewed sense of wholeness.

Research and lived experience show: we are not meant to heal in

isolation. We are wired to heal together.

REAL LIFE EXAMPLES OF CIRCLE\

• A man navigating sobriety joins a recovery group. As he listens

to others’ stories, he finds courage to share his own. The group

offers camaraderie, accountability, and hope. The collective

journey reminds him he’s not alone—and that healing is

possible, one step at a time.

• A woman new to yoga feels unsure and intimidated. Over

time, she bonds with a small group of fellow practitioners.

They support each other, share tips, and connect beyond the

mat. Through their encouragement, she gains confidence,

realizing growth is magnified in the presence of community.

• A person grieving a deep loss joins an online support group. At

first, they hesitate to share—but reading others’ stories brings

unexpected comfort. When they finally speak, they’re met with

empathy and understanding. The space becomes a container

for healing, showing them that even in grief, they are not alone.

PRACTICE: CONNECT WITH YOUR PEOPLE

• Each week, choose one intentional way to connect with your

community. Join a support group, attend a class (in person or

online), or reach out to a trusted friend for a heart-centered

conversation.

• Allow yourself to be seen—no masks, no filters. Share

something real. And just as importantly, practice active

listening. Hold space for others with the same compassion you

long to receive.

• If you don’t yet have a community, take one small step to

create it. Invite a few kindred spirits to gather regularly.

Explore spaces—virtual or local—where authenticity and

vulnerability are honored.

• Your circle doesn’t need to be large. It just needs to be real.

When we show up authentically, we open the door to true

connection—and healing becomes a shared experience.